determined to overcome this storm part 2

[overcom]

I'm gonna lose it. He's taking her out of town for her bday 9 10 11

[overcom]

What kind of boundaries do I set here

[Ancaire]

What do you mean? There aren't any boundaries you can set in this situation, unless he's planning to take the kids. If he's not, you have to accept there's nothing you can do. I'm so sorry.

[overcom]

My friend was saying to set healthy boundaries

[Ancaire]

You do need to set healthy boundaries, around you, your house, and your children. Decide what you will and will not allow within those areas. They are the ones you are in control of.

If he wants to tell you all about the trip, that is directly affecting you. You have the right and responsibility to protect yourself by telling him you don't need to hear about it.

Does that help a bit?

[overcom]

That's what I thought. But I wanted to hear from you guys too...

[Vanilla]

Ancaire has advised you well.

WH has said he will adjust around co parenting, and his phone.

Baby step. Let it be.

You have boundary no 1, no texts calls to OW in my home and when we are together as a family.

You have established it and it seems agreed.

You apologised and put the screaming banshee incident behind you.

So, what do you know about boundaries.

What has this interaction with WH indicated to you?

Are there any 180s?

As always, not ready V., and it is going to be ok.

V

[Azzork]

Hi V. So I read the thread and that is something I really need to work on. I apologized and he said that he would change too...

It's easy to say "I'll change". Believe it when you see it (and only then, only half believe it)

But, you DO have control to change you. It looks like you're getting great advice on how to do that. Start now!

[overcom]

I am Azzork. I have been setting boundaries. It feels weird tho. Cause I've never had before...
Azzork I'm so sad and angry that he's taking her away. What should I do. Is there anything I can do?? I want to tear down walls

[WhyUs]

Overcome,

This is hard for you. It is hard for everyone who goes through this. We are angry, confused , sad, scared, and want it to stop. DBing means you do not follow your instincts and chase the dog. You have to do what works, let go. It is the most effective thing you can do right now. Don't ask him about it. Don't make snide comments to him.

Work on yourself. Remember the push pull dynamic in relationships.