I'm really sorry you are struggling today. A few things:
1) you should stop focusing so much on your H's relationship with OW. You seem to think they're madly in love and soul mates and lord knows what else. But stop with all of that. The same brain sensors light up when you're in an affair as do when you're on drugs. It's the same rush of excitement as being high, so, yeah, I suppose it's possible that they will make it, but the odds are stacked against them. There are so many reasons affairs fail. But the more of your energy you put into it, the stronger it gets. If he were addicted to heroin, and you hid his needles, it isn't like he is going to rush to you and thank you - he's going to treat you like the enemy, he is going to hide further use from you, and so on. So........the only thing you can do is let him go, and let it fail. (Also, I THINK the average affair is somewhere around 6-9 months. But I could be wrong)
2) track that money. You're doing good. If it comes to it, you'll have that log book of expenses and you can work with your L to sort it out.
3) there's lots of GAL stuff you can do with your kid. Are there "mommy and me" meetup groups at the library, at other children's centers, at the YMCA, etc? Look into them, I bet there are many single mothers at those too!
