Duke, thanks. Truth be known, I don't have friends who can really help me through this. Most of my friends are guys and they have not been through anything like this, and they are not very good at this kind of stuff anyway. I have one friend who has really stepped up to the plate, a woman, who lives 3,000 miles away but we have spent hours on the phone. Thank God she has been there for me.
To clarify, I am not moping around and trying to convince her to come back. I am pretty good at acting as if I'm OK when she is around. It's when she's not there that I sink low.
It's easy to say that I should stop wanting and planning for her to come back. But I'm just not ready to do that.
I have spent some time on dating websites. It does give me a little respite from the pain, to think that if it doesn't work out with her there are other fish in the sea. And to be honest, if the day comes when I truly let her go and stop wanting her back, I will begin my search for another partner. I am just not a person who wants to be alone. To tell you the truth, I am dreading the alone time I'm going to have once she leaves. for a week at a time the kids are going to be at her place and I will see no one. I work at home. It's going to suck.
