A new thread for Eye-Tie

[EyeTie]

Julie, thank you for the compliments.

The first few months I was a wreck. This hit me like a ton of bricks, we were getting along fine (in my opinion), we had just gotten back from a very over due trip together and were planning our next trip. Then BOOM. She denied an affair (lie), she denied lying about her where abouts (lie), she denied everything saying she was just done. In the end, everything came to fruit because she got sloppy.

I begged, cried, pleaded and whined for her to come back. I sent flowers, wrote poems, tried to spend time together as a "family", looked at pictures, you name it, I did it. In the end I started reading the books and practicing certain techniques. I gal'd like my life depended on it (it did) and focused on myself and the kids over her. I deleted her on FB when she moved out (V-Day, came home to an empty house), quit talking to any of her friends and moved forward in life. It was tough to do, I cried a lot. But slowly I would go a few hours without thinking about her, then a few days, then all of a sudden she didn't pop up at all.

I do love her, we do have passion for one another, but sometimes love isn't enough. Sometimes the hurt can't be fixed. Sometimes you have to move on and cut your loses.

I do believe she can sense me detaching, but she lives in a dream world. Even though I have been dating here and there, she didn't think I was moving on. Instead she convinced herself that I was pining for her after all this time. Now she realizes it's not the case and is having a hard time with it. One of Sandi's rules say to agree that the marriage is terrible, which I did (after months of begging) and I KNOW that flipped her attitude around. Because I spent months saying different. At first I didn't think that it would be possible to do so, because I didn't agree with it. But I now realize that it's also a tactic to get you through it. Say it enough and you will believe it.

You are fairly new to this, the biggest thing that I have learned is to breathe, think about what you want to say before you do it AND make sure that the kids do not suffer.