Got here late... but I'm here now.

[duke]

Sandi,

I have to say you have awesome advice. Tough love is what is needed for most of the LBHs on this site. I don't know when it happened or why, I think it was more of a process, but I feel like a totally different man than I was just a few weeks ago. I realized that I don't need anymore s__t from my WAW and I'm not putting up with it. I am an equal parent (probably better) and I deserve to see my kids just as much as her and that is what I am focussed on and fighting for now no matter what it takes. I no longer have to focus on GAL, its coming all on its own. Im working way harder than I have in years, Im going to the gym, cycling hard, playing hockey, going out with friends, reconnecting with some great people. Its amazing to see how so many people in my life and in my past have come to the forefront to make sure I am OK. THOSE are the people that matter.

As for my WAW she can go pound sand for all I care. We only communicate via email now and she keeps asking why I am not being pleasant to her and why she gets "hate" days. I told her she has treated me like garbage for the last 6 months and lied to me for the last several years so do not expect any more "love" days and this is the new norm. Its very strange, I feel like she was holding me back and that she kind of had me under her thumb and I didn't even realize it. That is NOT me. I feel my confidence, self esteem, sense of humor, charm and general MOJO coming back more each day. I have goals now - a six pack by xmas, have the kids over far more often and them love every minute, lofty targets at work, find a meaningful relationship but to just let it happen. When this first happened (BD) it was really like I fell off a boat and was trying to find which way was up. Well I found it, I have resurfaced, taken a huge deep breath of fresh air and am ready to power forward.

I don't really care if WAW ever wants me back but, I have a feeling she will. Its kind of acting like an incentive though.

Thank you all. This wasn't really divorce busting. It ended up being a rediscovery and un-busting of me.