I have to admit I am having trouble detaching. After 3 months, I still think about her all the time. And I am still depressed and having trouble getting through the day. Exercising helps. But I'm sorry, it's not that easy. We've been married for 30 years. I can't just walk away from it and "detatch." I see people on here who detach in a short time and do very well (even feel good) not communicating. But that's not me. I still carry a crystal she gave me in my pocket everywhere I go and I hold it in my hand and think about her. In my heart I feel like we are soul mates. She told me that we are soul mates several times before, and I probably didn't "get it" then, but I feel it now. So I can't just ignore that feeling. I am having the perspective that we need some time apart for our relationship to get better than it was. So if that's what's happening, I welcome it. We did have problems and we tried some things but we kept getting back into a rut. I feel like if/when we do get back together it is going to be different. I've learned a lot through this. I know I will treat her and the relationship very differently. I've learned a lot about communicating better. I could never have said that or learned these things if this breakup didn't happen. So maybe it was a necessary step for the relationship to improve. I realize that is not detachment. Perhaps it is false hope or a coping mechanism. But I can only do what I'm capable of.
Once she is gone from the house I realize things will change but we have kids and we are going to have to interact and we plan to remain friends. I am telling myself that she needs to test the waters and see if the grass is greener out there without me. So she would never come back to me without this happening. so in a backwards way I am seeing this as a step closer towards the possibility of reconciliation.
