OK then, wise people... maybe I should do this. Maybe next week. I was thinking about asking for his help on the web site, since it'd probably take him all of 30 minutes.
I'm going to wait because I was sending out my e-cards for St. Pat's yesterday and decided to send him one too. No response, but I also sent it very late in the day. I don't want to seem like I am chasing him around trying to get his attention because that isn't my intent.
Yes, my H loves to feel needed and wanted like everyone does and this has been a sore point with us... he wasn't feeling sure he WAS wanted and needed by me because of our LL differences and other issues we've since gone over. Now he's said for a long time that he knows different... fat lot of good that's doing me these days.
H has never been the overt "provider" type though... and I think this is something he struggles with... I think he may feel like he should be more of that on one level or was feeling pressure there. Maybe I am reading too much into things, I don't know. Entirely possible.
He's not a big acts of service guy-- that's more me-- with the exception of making dinners. Though when he does AOS he makes them really memorable and cool, not little things (like cleaning the whole house top to bottom and making homemade pizzas with 2 varieties of handmade dough to welcome me back from a conference).
He's into grand gestures and little gifts-- though very uneasy taking them from me these days. Tried that for a while and he has accepted them and seemed warmed by them, he feels he does not deserve them and says so. And physical touch... and well, you have to actually spend time together for that to go anywhere. And it was--he was much, much more comfortable with that than he's been in ages-- before the papers and the vanishing act.
I've been hesitant to ask for his help in things because of so much he's said about everything always being about me (something he has since "taken back", but still). I don't want to be always "wanting" something from him. I'd been offering things and just wanting to see how he is and making our conversations more focused on H for a while.
In the past when I have asked him for help it has either worked very well (when my computer died) or I was completely ignored (help shopping for a new monitor).
Depending on where he was at that day. So I guess I'll bring a big heavy helmet.
