O-when your blood starts to boil, BREATHE! In through the nose, out through the mouth. Slowly. You'll have to do it for a bit until your heart rate slows. It is the best technique for calming down that I have. If I'm talking to H in person, I hold up one finger, indicating to give me a second. Sometimes he does, sometimes not. I NEVER start speaking again until I have calmed down. It's hard to take words back, best not to say them at all. Like everything else, it takes some practice, but it is the single most helpful tool I've learned.
Your hurt and pain are pushing you into action. Learning to control reactions will help you in every aspect of your life, but will be key in helping you manage this one.
Practice this technique frequently when you're not upset, so you remember to use it when you are.
