I am resolute in my changes. I have become and will continue to grow into the man/father my children will need. I will set the right standard and example. And I have grown into and will continue to learn to be the H I should have always been. (It's helpful for me to declare these things)
I agree, declaring those statements to yourself is important. You made need to mentally say it several times at day, or look yourself in the mirror when you make this resolve. I don't think you should say it to the WW, b/c she will not react positively.
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Unfortunately I spent years not holding her accountable for her inappropriate behavior and allowing her to treat me badly. I always told myself I was just being a peace keeper but now I realize I was enabling her.
This is huge b/c many newcomers just don't get it. You are coming to terms with a lot. Overcoming that type of behavior and taking a complete 180 may be like birthing a new life. Your life!
My own father was from the WWII generation, and he was remarkable.......at least in my eyes. My mother was a sweet, loving, strong, independent, and spirited lady. Although they kept things private from the kids, I knew her well enough that I can say......she challenged him at times. (Every woman will, at times, challenge her H.). Whenever she started to treat him a little dispectfully........He would lovingly, yet firmly, tell her she could not treat him that way. If it continued into the next day, his stance became stronger. He never told her in front of the kids. He talked to her in private. The reason I know, is b/c she told me a lot about it, after I was grown. And she admitted that she was out of line whenever this would happen. (25 years after his death, she had yet to consider getting out to meet someone new. ). He taught me how a man can adore his W and treat her as his equal.......and how he can be the head of his home. (Not a popular term in modern society, but I don't care. God's Word is not outdated.)
Sorry for taking up so much on my parents' MR. I really meant to tell you how a father teaches his children what a man should be and his role in life and in relationships. His sons will watch him, as a pattern in how to treat their own wives. His daughters will watch him to learn how to treat her own H, and what kind of man to marry. Your children have seen a bad example from their mother. So, this is certainly not going to be easy for you, but with God's help and your dedication to follow through, I believe your life can be so much better in the future, than it has in the past.
You will see a lot of oddities from your WW. Pay no attention to the rings. If you ask, then she's won a secret victory. Do not show that you are concerned one way the other.
Yes, you are on the right tract.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
). He taught me how a man can adore his W and treat her as his equal.......and how he can be the head of his home. (Not a popular term in modern society, but I don't care. God's Word is not outdated.) 
