Need advice for a WW who left Part 4

[dwh15]

Thank you V. I just realized that I forgot to mention outcome of the custody hearing. Yes, it went very much in my favor. The lady who interviewed us was on top of her game and quickly established the history of what was going on with the kids. The fact that WW had abandoned the marital home, had spent very little time with the children over past few months, and they had rarely spent an overnight, was critical in establishing me as the primary parent. Fortunately, WW for the most part admitted everything, but of course tried to spin it in a way that this was all my fault, and that she really wanted to spend more time with the kids.

In the end it didn't matter. WW was grilled about OM. She was asked how long she had known him, whether she had run a criminal background check, etc. It was almost entertaining to watch WW squirm as the questions kept rolling. Her primary strategy seemed to be trying to paint me as a bad guy, which involved nothing more than the fact I was suddenly doing all kinds of fun stuff with the kids and buying them things just to make her look bad. Oh, and discouraging them to spend time with mom, which is of course totally untrue.

So after we get done, the final judgement is that S16 and S10, both special needs, are with me 100% of the time. WW gets visitation 2 days/week between 5-9pm, plus every other Saturday afternoon. She will get S8 every other weekend from Friday 5pm to Sunday 5pm. Otherwise he is with me. S18 didn't come into the picture as he's a legal adult. So I really couldn't have asked for a better outcome, considering WW wanted a 50-50 split across the board. She wasn't happy at all, and really spewed the venom after we got out of the hearing, but I simply ignored her, got in my car and left. She tells me she plans to continue trying for 50-50, and I fully expect it, but I know that once initial custody is established it is difficult to get it changed, and the burden of proof will be on WW to show it's in best interest of the kids.

So I feel very good about the custody, and do think it's best for everyone involved right now. If WW ever gets to the point she's fully invested as a mother again and can prioritize the kids over OM and all the other distractions in her life, then I would be happy to discuss a gradual transition to the kids spending more time with her. But I will no longer be bullied or cave to any of her wayward manipulations. My focus is now on me and my boys; if WW ever straightens out her life, maybe she can be in a bigger part of ours, but if not, we will continue moving ahead w/o her.

And as the final icing on the cake, WW told me a few weeks ago she had only filed for D because she needed financial help and I refused to give it to her anymore. With this custody arrangement, she will owe me child support, not the other way around. Talk about a backfire. Of course I'll be on the hook for spousal support, but she won't be getting anywhere near the paycheck she figured.