Hi RD, I think that's the key - to get to that place where you accept and are truly okay with the fact it may go either way. I once read about someone saying they would gratefully accept either outcome, and that always stayed with me. They stated it in more religious terms, and I'm not a believer, but I appreciated the outlook on things.

I suspect that your W may well want to return to the family unit at some point. I certainly don't feel that bridges have been burned from your end and I feel that you have shown a great deal of understanding, whilst not getting drawn into her dysfunction. Whether she has burned bridges from your perspective is up to you. In my sitch I struggle with the thought of overcoming all that has passed. I imagine many feel the same. Equally, I would like to think I can be as forgiving as the next person....I guess time will tell on that one.

I agree that your W is in denial with close family and friends. It is strange to tell others that OM is not a nice person or a friend.....but he does (or has??) share her bed??! I keep coming back to that....what's that all about then?? I imagine your W (when she becomes more healthy) will tire of what OM offers (we're not really sure what that is - a project? Another person in a mess too?) At that point, I think much depends on your approach.

Equally, you are at a similar point to me (apart from H filed for D) and it seems reasonable that you live your own life to all intents and purposes. Whether that includes dating is up to you - but I think fairness to the datee is critical there....otherwise - live your life and have some fun. But maybe stay away from strangers offering unusual activities...

Anyway - hope you have a fabulous weekend with those kiddos RD xx

Last edited by Sotto; 10/03/15 12:44 PM.
T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus