Ghost Busting .....it's time to work on Me

[ATPeace]

Yes I have to make a choice to detach ...how,do I do this when she is being nice friendly yes her pay off is nice guy ghost me I have lost my W lover but retain my friend

Her acting friendly is not the real thing. Want to see if I'm right? Just cross her and stand up to her and see how friendly she is. That's what scares you, right? That she'll be mad at you, and you won't be able to handle her wrath. It is difficult for me to understand any man that would rather settle for some loveless friendship, instead of love. But, that's me.

[quote]W is going out tomorrow night clubbing it has been arranged however I do not really want to be at home seeing her getting dressed up perfume on markup on tight jeans etc knowing she is going out to have fun it will upset me seeing this

Okay, so this nice, friendly W is going out and having fun clubbing around, but a babysitter can't be afforded? I thought you said you inherited some money? I thought you said it had been agreed that the two of you would alternate the weekends? (I think you said you couldn't go out until after she had her weekend..... ) Hen-pecked!

Do I say something to her like " sorry but I have to go out as watching you get ready to go out knowing you are clubbing is going to upset me " or do I say nothing

Why do you ask these foolish questions, when you KNOW what we'll say? Yes, Ghost, tell her exactly the above and see how attractive that makes you look. Honestly! You know darn well you don't say that spineless cr@p to a woman who like her.

Sandi2 thank you for this valuable post I am not purposely fighting you and everyone else's advice I see everyone's situation as different and I really do not know how to handle this my head is saying I should be detaching and should be moving away and doing everything that you're saying but my heart is saying she's being nice we are getting along things seem to be okay but they're not

I know it took my wife a long time to get to this position she has told me it was three years ago when she started to feel like she wanted to be out the marriage it has taken her three years to get to this point

I know I cannot write to her I know I cannot keep having relationship conversations I do not want to do this and yet I do want to do this.

What if the is some doubt in her mind what if I am choosing now to go along with what she wants and then there is regret I guess it is the red pill or the blue one

Sandi2 thank you so much you really have no idea just how much you have helped me

I will read some more

Thank you all

Ghost