Where, oh where am I?

[Lost08]

My headspace is just filled with too much garbage. But I'm trying to consciously think more positive thoughts every time a negative one starts screaming away.

So, very tiny baby steps.

I keep making my bed everyday Thinking of you, HeavyD

AND I kept reminding myself today of all that I have already accomplished on my own each and every time H has been away over these past 12 years.
I mean, I really had to stop and think, it's been 12 years of him being on the road for lengthy trips, months long, and even though I have been criticized and judged by some other parents and I have made mistakes, I have been DOING IT. I have been a single mom off and on again for a while. Caring for them and loving them and agonizing over how to do this parenting thing.

I weathered the last hurricane alone. I am the one who had to manage the contractors last time, 3 1/2 years ago, when H was again in other country and the back portion of the house had to be completely reframed and sided and new windows installed. I change flat tires on my own, on the highways, too! I kill really nasty, poisonous spiders. I clear the football field length driveway of snow numerous times, every winter. I work. A lot.

Idk. Just putting it in writing to try boosting myself up a bit.