You have so much going on and I can really appreciate and identify with the "limbo" you are feeling right now.
MO (as I am not in a position to give advice like job!) is to stay away from asking your h what he is feeling or what he is thinking. Why - because he has no clue himself; if I have learnt anything over the past few months talking to my h then its that. He admits to a mass of confusing and conflicting thoughts running through his head, none the same and never staying long (his words). If you ask your h where he is at right now, you will get the answer of where he is on that day and that time - it could be bad, it could be good, but be aware that those thoughts could change by the next day - so he could want you back in his life as a whole relationship today but tomorrow he will feel differently and vice versa, a MLC'er is not in control of any of this, it is currently in control of them. Until they recognize that this is the case then they wont begin to do the hard work it takes to calm the head and make sense of all the thoughts.
So on the back of that, you are the one who needs to make the decisions about what you want because your h is not able to right now. Atm you are giving your h two lives, you have made it easy for him to do it and that's ok if you are happy with this, but I sense that you are not, so you need to decide what to do about it. By removing yourself from his life you will regain the power that currently he has over you. He will get upset and stamp his feet, he is used to getting his own way, but ultimately this is your life and you should be one to decide what happens in it.
I would make my plans for Halloween, T/giving and Christmas, don't include him other than his time with s - which he can do at his house - and start to show him that you are more than capable of living on your own. By showing him that you are accepting of the situation and moving onward without him it will give him something to think about. This does not mean you have to give up on a r with your h, it just means you are playing the MLC game. If he comes to the point where he realizes you are who he wants then he will let you know. He will find a way.
Mleigh - I follow your threads and you inspire me to keep going onward in my own journey. You are doing so amazingly well with all of this and I wish you nothing less than finding the happiness you so deserve. This is such a hard journey that you go on, its one that you did not choose to take, you were forced into it, so seeing it as that, you are doing fantastic.
Keep going my friend, make good decsions for yourself and your s - ((hugs)) to you.
