Anybody? I'm at a loss right now. Don't know if I should give up completely. They're in love. Enough to leave their respective marriages and kids. What do I do know? Should I let him know I know about his rendezvous with her last weekend? Better not.
Does the OW's husband know about the affair??? If not, do not ask your husband or warn him (and certainly don't believe anything he's told you). Instead contact the OW's husband and let his know what you know is going on. He probably has no clue.
Even if your husband said he knows and they are separated, divorcing, etc. - don't believe it. Confirm what he knows and verify facts independent of your husband.
OW's husband is entitled, just as you are, to know the truth about his life. NOT telling him makes you a co-conspirator with your husband and his OW in keeping the affair a secret. A position most BS's don't want to be in.
Sure talking to OW's husband will upset your husband but your marriage can survive his anger whereas it can't survive his ongoing continuing secretive infidelity.
You control you and telling OW's husband is the decent thing for you to do.
Sounds like a workplace affair too....I'd tell his bosses too, but that's just me. Your children are looking towards you to fight for their family. They ain't "in love" the are in "secretive affair lust" - which is a temporary condition experienced by persons with inadequate coping mechanism who end up talking to each other about their problems and issues instead of their respective spouses....THEN, they confuse the feelings they derive from such inappropriate sharing as romantic feelings and suddenly their clothes fall off...endorphins (PEA's) are released and these losers that are destroying everything decent in their lives THINK that they are "in love". It's pitiful if it wasn't sooooo benignly common.
Your husband THINKS you are and should be happy for him and best friends with him and this low life woman that dates married men. Being nice to him only feeds that fantasy while being mean to him only pushes him further away....THEREFORE, I feel your best bet is to separate yourself from him and NOT communicate with him whatsoever until such time as he no longer is talking to or seeing his OW.
If he wants to see the kids...arrange for a third party intermediary like his parents to facilitate such. Don't see him or talk to him other than to tell him:
"Your behavior has devastated me and it needs to stop. I love you and I'm not going to sit around begging or waiting for you attention while you run around with some hooooor ruining your own life, mine and our children's family in the process. Therefore, until you end your affair, establish "no contact" with OW and commit to a recovery plan for our marriage you are no longer welcome in my life. All communications about the children shall be through email (and have a friend screen the emails to weed out any and all extraneous information not relating to the children). Do not call me or stop by. I will let you know how and where you can recover your personal property and I expect you to continue to support your wife and children financially as you always have without having to seek temporary support orders from the court.
THEN you GAL yourself...work on you for your own piece of mind and to become a better person, mother and wife to this guy (should he change his wayward ways) or the next guy.
Take care.
The internet is 90% complaining and entitlement and I hate it because I deserve better!
