Hi PP. very greatful for the support its hard to know if she's sad or if it's the depression. I know mind reading does no good and I'm the first to point it out to others I must follow my own advice Kids are very easy to focus on as they are fantastic. My girls can't walk past me without giving me a hug , they sneak into my bed EVERY night about 3/4 am and my boys are fantastic S16 gives me a hug every night before bed and S20 is my strongest supporter I can't stress how lucky I am to have my kids and my heart breaks when I hear of others tales of part time parenting. You all amaze me with your strength and I'm not sure I could do what some of you do.
I also have huge support from mine and EXW family and while I don't contact EXW family I do receive calls and texts every now and then checking in with me
Like most I dwell on how easy it would be to repair the M if only we had tried but it's taken me almost a year to realise it was too late for EXW by then and she was done. We have all ended Rs at some point in our lives and can remember times when someone you no longer wanted in your life would not let go gracefully Now we are the ones that have been let go I think we need to show that grace even if it feels like it's killing us.
I read the DR and DB books often and while I whole heartily agree with them maybe some of us need more time than others to accept reality. I certainly did and was afraid to do anything that might appear to EXW as anti her even if it wasn't
Since I accepted that she's done I have moved forward, new car , new wardrobe , activities with the kids , sun holiday etc. I still treat EXW with respect and kindness but I don't answer calls if I don't feel like it. I answer texts when I'm ready and with a polite response Business like on all matters even if I'm helping
I can still say I love EXW She was a great W and mother up until 2 years ago and I can't dismiss that She keeps her private life quiet and still denies OM ( I don't ask but SIL did recently )
I won't go into detail because I'm not sure I would be believed at this stage but I was offered unusual relations with a near stranger while away and I only thought that sort of thing happened in a certain movie Maybe it's the deodorant I wear because while I'm no Quasimodo I'm no George Clioney either !!!!
