LBH w/ a WW trying to save my M

[gs9]

Sandi,
Thank you so much for reading up on my sitch.

I just looked up the definition of wayward and you exactly right. She's been wayward since the day I met her.

-difficult to control or predict because of unusual or perverse behavior. synonyms: willful, headstrong, stubborn, obstinate, obdurate, perverse, contrary, disobedient, insubordinate,

Unfortunately I didn't fully understand my role as the H until I really started to study it over this last year. I've learned a ton this last year and have made massive changes in my life. I've experienced the greatest amount of growth and self development of my life. The total sitch makes me sad but I know with out the turmoil the necessary changes would never had occurred.

I am resolute in my changes. I have become and will continue to grow into the man/father my children will need. I will set the right standard and example. And I have grown into and will continue to learn to be the H I should have always been. (It's helpful for me to declare these things)

Unfortunately I spent years not holding her accountable for her inappropriate behavior and allowing her to treat me badly. I always told myself I was just being a peace keeper but now I realize I was enabling her.

I completely agree with you about affection. I've turned the affection back off and will not turn it back on unless I feel led to do so. I know God speaks to us through His word, His voice and other people. So I will be very careful with this and make sure it is His will and not mine.

The support and advice I've obtained here has been invaluable and has been very congruent with my church friends and IC. I will continue to post here and read here.

So, last night I got home from the gym and no one was home. I cleaned up and left. GAL'd with a buddy having dinner and watching football. I returned home about 10:30 and to my pleasant surprise the MBR was empty. Looks like she is respecting the boundary I set.

The other oddity I discovered is my W has 3 wedding rings that she use to wear together. 1 gold and 2 silver rings. She took 2 of them off about 3 months ago and was only wearing 1 silver one until about 4 weeks ago when she removed that one too. She keeps them in a lidless box on top of the dresser. I noticed last night that one of the silver rings is not in the box. I saw her for a couple hours on Wed night as we watched TV with the kids but wasn't looking for a ring. I only saw her for about 30 seconds early yesterday morning and have not seen or spoke to her since. I'm curious if she is wearing one again. I highly doubt she would just move one of the rings.

Seems to me she is doing some temp checking b/c she just asked about installing new carpet and now she MIGHT be wearing one of her rings. I'm going to be very cautious with this....... I will not agree to install new carpet until we figure things out. She can just deal with the old carpet that she hates. She needs to continue to feel more loss b/c of her choices. If she wouldn't have had her first A we would have already had new carpet. She can do w/out. AND, IF she is wearing her ring I'm going to be sure to not take notice or make mention of it.

Does it sound like I'm on the right path? I feel like I'm being true to myself.