Overcom, A is correct. Just begin to handle stuff like this on your own. It is hard at first, but it makes you stronger. You can inform him the following day if no hospital visit is required. Text something like: "FYI, D was really sick last night. Seems to be doing better now. You might want to call and check on her. She would appreciate hearing from you." I wouldnt add this last part. It sounds judgmental and controlling. Just the facts, Jack! And I would only inform if it was something bad, like a fever or vomiting - but a general headache or stomach ache, I wouldnt say anything.
If you wound up having to visit hospital, say something like: "D is very ill. I've taken her to the hospital to get checked out. S is with me. Will update later." You just updated. No need to stay on the hook. You can send another update if you get further information.
Show that man you can be strong and handle problems without him. If you've always relied on him for help, it is a HUGE 180. It will also make him begin to feel "left out". He will notice, believe me.
More importantly, Overcom, start handling things on your own when you can so that you can prove to YOURSELF you will be fine on your own. It will go a long way towards detachment. You already know detachment is critical in dealing with WS. You've got to start building up that detachment muscle. You're going to be miserable as long as you are so very attached to him.
Being a single mom is really hard. It's not fair that the situation was forced on you. I get that. Can you do it? Of course you can! Start leaving him out of things, act "as if" you are fully capable of taking care of things on your own (you are!), and observe when H begins wondering why you didn't call.
Tell him you're a single mom now, and can handle things on your own. That is a truth dart he cannot avoid. You shouldn't be mean, just very matter of fact. It'll hit him, I promise.
I am absolutely convinced you have what it takes to do this. Do you want to? Probably not, but you HAVE TO. He's put you in this situation, probably expecting you to crumble. Don't. Don't give him the satisfaction. Thrive instead. If OW is an addict, he is with a weak human being. Being the opposite, strong, is going to be very, very attractive.
