Photo you terrible person. Lol I'm just kidding. He's blind amd not seeing who you really are. Just continue doing you and praying he'll snap out of it...
Me 34 H 33 Married 2006 S5 D2 BD Jan 2015 EA/PA He moved out 2/2/2015 Came back 5/2015 Filed divorce papers 8/21/2015
You have been lucky. My biggest problem is telling my family the truth about what's going on. So I'm kinda avoiding them. I only see my mom daily. Family events I miss out on. I just don't know how to brake the news. So my gal is just me and me and the kids. I don't have a lot of friends. All my friends are couples with k8ds. I need some single friends lol.
See I coukd do some of that stuff but like I said I'm stuck in my shell... I really am going to try one weekend a new event with them... your a awesome dad and I'll pray that your wife's heart is softened and it's in the will of our Lord that you guys reconcile. I will also pray that your knee heals so you can run your marathon. I'll be your cheerleader from the other side of the computer. Lol... I can't imagine my life without my kids full time. I'm so worried when he actually has to take them without me. I don't want them to meet the other girl. what's LMFT? That's awesome...
Me 34 H 33 Married 2006 S5 D2 BD Jan 2015 EA/PA He moved out 2/2/2015 Came back 5/2015 Filed divorce papers 8/21/2015
Thank you overcome. After reading your post I realize how lucky I am that my cousin is here for me. I can't imagine going through this without my family. I don't know how you do it.
Me: 30's W: 30's M: 12yrs EA: Started 3/2015 MC Started: 4/2015 She moved out and served 6/2015 PA: Confirmed 10/5/2015 2 young kids
"If you do not stand for something you will fall for anything."
Last night my d3 had 104.2 fever amd vomiting and I was freaking out. I text him thinking he'd come just in case I'd have to go to children's hospital. He was just texting me and I had to end it. I text him sorry for bothering youguys. He text back saying really. I never answered back. Like why should I have to feel like that. I'm so angry and hurt this morning.
Me 34 H 33 Married 2006 S5 D2 BD Jan 2015 EA/PA He moved out 2/2/2015 Came back 5/2015 Filed divorce papers 8/21/2015
Overcom - next time you have some kind of crisis, see if you can handle it by yourself without texting him. Like this one, if you had to go to the hospital, you could have taken your S with you and just gone. Then send a text saying "D3 is XXX/YYY. We went to the hospital; the doctor said ZZZ."
I think you will feel so much more empowered than feeling like you need his advice or permission to do anything/everything.
why didn't you tell me "Because I was handling it."
or get mad at me. But you didnt "tell him" about the fever. You asked him for help. You cant spend the rest of your life worrying about whether or not he is mad at you.
Overcom, A is correct. Just begin to handle stuff like this on your own. It is hard at first, but it makes you stronger. You can inform him the following day if no hospital visit is required. Text something like: "FYI, D was really sick last night. Seems to be doing better now. You might want to call and check on her. She would appreciate hearing from you."
If you wound up having to visit hospital, say something like: "D is very ill. I've taken her to the hospital to get checked out. S is with me. Will update later."
Show that man you can be strong and handle problems without him. If you've always relied on him for help, it is a HUGE 180. It will also make him begin to feel "left out". He will notice, believe me.
More importantly, Overcom, start handling things on your own when you can so that you can prove to YOURSELF you will be fine on your own. It will go a long way towards detachment. You already know detachment is critical in dealing with WS. You've got to start building up that detachment muscle. You're going to be miserable as long as you are so very attached to him.
Being a single mom is really hard. It's not fair that the situation was forced on you. I get that. Can you do it? Of course you can! Start leaving him out of things, act "as if" you are fully capable of taking care of things on your own (you are!), and observe when H begins wondering why you didn't call.
Tell him you're a single mom now, and can handle things on your own. That is a truth dart he cannot avoid. You shouldn't be mean, just very matter of fact. It'll hit him, I promise.
I am absolutely convinced you have what it takes to do this. Do you want to? Probably not, but you HAVE TO. He's put you in this situation, probably expecting you to crumble. Don't. Don't give him the satisfaction. Thrive instead. If OW is an addict, he is with a weak human being. Being the opposite, strong, is going to be very, very attractive.
Overcom, A is correct. Just begin to handle stuff like this on your own. It is hard at first, but it makes you stronger. You can inform him the following day if no hospital visit is required. Text something like: "FYI, D was really sick last night. Seems to be doing better now. You might want to call and check on her. She would appreciate hearing from you." I wouldnt add this last part. It sounds judgmental and controlling. Just the facts, Jack! And I would only inform if it was something bad, like a fever or vomiting - but a general headache or stomach ache, I wouldnt say anything.
If you wound up having to visit hospital, say something like: "D is very ill. I've taken her to the hospital to get checked out. S is with me. Will update later." You just updated. No need to stay on the hook. You can send another update if you get further information.
Show that man you can be strong and handle problems without him. If you've always relied on him for help, it is a HUGE 180. It will also make him begin to feel "left out". He will notice, believe me.
More importantly, Overcom, start handling things on your own when you can so that you can prove to YOURSELF you will be fine on your own. It will go a long way towards detachment. You already know detachment is critical in dealing with WS. You've got to start building up that detachment muscle. You're going to be miserable as long as you are so very attached to him.
Being a single mom is really hard. It's not fair that the situation was forced on you. I get that. Can you do it? Of course you can! Start leaving him out of things, act "as if" you are fully capable of taking care of things on your own (you are!), and observe when H begins wondering why you didn't call.
Tell him you're a single mom now, and can handle things on your own. That is a truth dart he cannot avoid. You shouldn't be mean, just very matter of fact. It'll hit him, I promise.
I am absolutely convinced you have what it takes to do this. Do you want to? Probably not, but you HAVE TO. He's put you in this situation, probably expecting you to crumble. Don't. Don't give him the satisfaction. Thrive instead. If OW is an addict, he is with a weak human being. Being the opposite, strong, is going to be very, very attractive.
