Ghost One thing i have noticed in my own situation that may help you.
You have identified this is not all your fault. Why continue to want to apologize to her and tell her how great it can be now? This just reassures her that she is doing the right thing because you caused this, and now it is too late that you want to be better. We know it is not your fault. She is battling her own stuff and as long as she is able to blame you she will never get through. For the future thoughts, why not picture the future you want instead of the future you are fearing? Seems silly right now right? So does trying to predict the future as being bad. You dont know!
This is all hard but really try.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
