For me its more like
H: "You have destroyed my life and my mom hates you too."
Me: "wow, that is a lot to deal with , I can see why you are so angry with me."

or ...H "You have a jealousy problem, what difference does it make if this time it was an actual affair? You'd be jealous anyway. "
Me: "That must be really difficult for you."

I can't make this stuff up.