Thank you everyone for your input. I really appreciate all of you taking time to read my posts and write to me.
Was it a rape? I don't think I can say that comfortably, not because I agreed with him, but because he is still my H... I know he is not acting/treating me like H, but still, I don't know.... From going forward, I'm not sure exactly what kind of protective measures I can take? H knows I didn't want it and H also regretted it, but he still comes around the house. SIL knows about his issues with alcohol and possible depression because I asked for her help before when he was late, but not about OW. I guess she also asked H if he needs help in anything, but he said he is fine.
This morning H seemed to be in a bad mood. I asked him if he feels depressed and he flat out denied it, he seemed offended by my comment. I told him I'm just concerned but he said he is just fine. Personally I have never had clinical depression, but the conv. I had the other night with H definitely felt like he has some issues, doesn't it?
Honestly I just feel exhausted. Too tired to go up and down with his mood and actions, too tired to think about kids and myself security and finances, too tired to have to think about what to do and say every single day, too tired to be always the responsible one. I know I shouldn't say that but I wish I could be the one who go crazy. Sorry, it's just overwhelming. I thought we were happy until just a few months ago. How did my life get into this mess...
