Well, I admit to not finishing the book and having quite a hard time following the 37, but I have reversed that. Since my last post, I didn't have that talk again and basically went "cold turkey" all the while keeping a positive attitude and a smile on my face. No texts unless she contacts me first - which she has for a couple of days now...
We had another couples session Tuesday (October 29th), which was very good and possibly one of our best yet. In the week since she stated she wanted to go ahead with D, she has now since wanted to go back to separation. Communication has been our biggest issue throughout our marriage - and she said that we are on the edge and if we can't get our communication fixed, then our marriage is done. Now I am not quite sure what to make of this, but I take it as a positive note. I can do that and have been working with my counselor on this. I know my communication issues and that is one of the things I am working with my counselor about.
I admit that I have a weakness in giving her the proper space (as in texting, emailing, etc.), so I am now more or less keeping a journal as my counselor suggested. Every time I feel the need to text, I write in the journal what I wanted to say. So far, it has been pretty effective and removed that need to text. If we do reconcile, then maybe that can be a nice gift or something.
I am still dealing with the issue of my own SIL (brother's wife) and how to handle that. I finally stood up to my family and told them that my W comes first, even if we are having issues. That didn't go over so well. I basically told them to not make me choose between her and them. It is what it is, but I have to do what's best for my family.
The hardest part of this new stuff is space and all that goes with it. I know that my mind races and comes up with all kinds of bad stuff - that is just so hard to deal with now. Is there a way to ease my mind? Its almost like I come up with all kinds of bad things. If I can get over that hill, then maybe this whole thing will be easier and also generate another success story.
