Back on these forums again

[Mona52]

H was the one who did a 180 today.
I have been the sole person to handle the kids for a long time now. If the kids needed something, he would assume I would do it. If they needed something purchased, like school supplies or a birthday present for a friend, anything they needed, it was only up to me to handle it. It did not matter if I had money or not, I had to figure it out. I tried a million times to hand some of the responsibility to him, but he would say "I can't" and he would not do what needed done.

I could not let them suffer, so I always ended up figuring it out. (I know, never use always, but it is true)

This morning D16 had an issue at school. It was an issue I had absolutely no chance of helping with. First I am broke until tomorrow, so I could not give her the money she needed. Second, I am at work. I cannot just drive to the school if she is not sick.

I thought to myself, "What the heck, can't hurt to try..." I texted H 2 hours before he had to be at work. Normally, if it is near the time he has to work, he flat out refuses to do anything. Even though he was constantly late from playing video games.

I asked him to drop money off to her, and while I was waiting for his 'NO', I was mentally going through my friends and family to see who I was going to beg for help from next.

I was right in the middle of texting my mom, and he answered... "I will take care of it."

Wait... What?????

Ok, I still kept my hopes LOW. I was fully expecting him to just go to work and text me later "oh, I'm sorry, I forgot to take money to her. And I cannot now, I am at work."

However, I called the school, just in case and told them he might be stopping in to drop some money off to D.

He actually dropped off twice as much as needed!

I still have not received any support from him, this is the first time in a long time he reached into his own pocket and gave to the kids. I am in total shock.

He has to feel good about himself lately. 2 months ago, he barely worked 20 hours a week, but spent way more than he earned. So we were falling deeper and deeper into a hole. I was handling the house, the kids, the bills, working FT and everything else I do, and he was playing video games.

Since I booted him out, he got a full time job and from what he says (which could be untrue) he is not only working 40 hours, but he is working as much OT as he can. He is trying to save money to get his own place. I dont care who you are, that has to feel good. And now he was able to actually be there when his D needed his help. And he is taking them to see pitch perfect 2 on saturday.

A part of me gets a tiny bit scared when I see him doing well. I feel he will think he is better off without me now that things are so good for him.

I do not hold on to those feelings, because, first, I am very much better off now then I was while he was here, and second, if that is how he feels, i am happy for him.

I sent him a text message thanking him for helping her. And I made sure, during this whole day, that I stated it like she needed his help. He was helping her. Never once did I say I needed his help, or thanks for helping me.

My goals now are to have him as a better father and co-parent, and I dont want to throw me in the mix.