So, what's been going on? My 180s, I keep revising them and working on them-keeping what works and getting rid of what doesn't. I think that's a big thing. Every stitch is similar but also different IMHO. So my coach suggests that I cultivate the friendship and maintain physical contact when possible and appropriate. What shifted I think is my approach. If I touch with trepidation, then that lack of confidence comes through, if I touch with confidence, she responds well. I notice the same with boundaries. I've been speaking up more confidently and I've used some truth darts when necessary, but I don't carry the grudge. If it's on the phone I come home happy and like someone who said what they had to say and that's that, let's eat. Same thing face to face. A lot of validation too. Being right and winning an argument is so overrated. Some times I feel like breaking something, or throwing her out so I talk to friends or drive or get coffee or shop or whatever. Is she lying still? I dunno. She isn't acting like she was when she was in A for certain and she has been a lot more respectful of me. Showing gratitude, saying thanks, defending me to my kids, not making jokes (as often) and reaching out a lot more. Still no intimacy though and she does get depressed and angry but she is looking (I think) for me to help pull her out of it sometimes. The other day she didn't want to get out of bed, but I was taking my daughter somewhere, suggested she might wanna come. She did, had fun and thanked me for my help. She's also been asking me if she can do things for me or if I need anything, and I let her help me b/c that's how she shows love, but I really don't need her to. She's also been constructively criticizing me sometimes "I don't like when you set the table that way, I prefer it this way" type of stuff and I try to listen. That's all I can think of writing right now. I know it focused on W and R but I gotta get that out somewhere. Sometimes just being awesome and very very handsome isn't enough to lift my spirits.
