It has been a while since I have posted. I have been busy (which is good), but my little one has been sick, so a few trips to the ER with the wife. Woke up this morning with the need and want to post my thoughts and to journal.
A few words are present this morning to me, selfishness and forgiveness.
It continues to surprise me and hurt me just how selfish my wife has been, how manipulative she has been (the truth is that she has probably been like this for a long time, and I haven't really SEEN it). My wife and I have a schedule set for when we have the boys, I have them Mon and Tues, Tuesday we ended up at the ER because she was worried about our little one, he as been throwing up, has been tired, lost of appetite, and this correlated with a fall he took from his high chair in which he landed head first. So we go to the ER, spent most of Tuesday evening there. After we were discharged, I took the boys with me as usual. I received a message from her thanking me for being a great father, then a few moments later I receive another saying "I am going out on a limb - but being that Today has been a wash, for good reason I know, I was hoping you won't mind giving me Thursday, I would love to go to this event"; completely surprised at the ask in her going out and using us being at the hospital with our son as a means to get it...
Yesterday, she decided to greet me via TM and ask again about Today Thursday, I got so upset that I wrote back "I don't hear from you all day, and when I do it is about you wanting my day so that you can go out?" I told her "Take the day, enjoy yourself" She continued trying to bring it back to me, saying that I didn't reach out to her asking her how her day went, I wrote back "If you wanted to share your day you would have started with that, instead of asking me about having Thursday, You got what you wanted." This all hurt and I know I could have kept my cool, need to continue working on being objective and more detached.
That's enough for the vent.... LOL
This leads me to forgiveness. Our Lord has given me two signs this morning about forgiving. I woke up and checked email, the following article by Tony Robbins greeted me:
Read it if you guys have time, it is a really good read.
And the second was the sermon I was hearing by Joel Osteen, in regards to forgiving and letting go.
So today's PMA:
Quote of the day:
“There is no such thing as a "broken family." Family is family, and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents. Families are made in the heart. The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut. If you cut those ties, those people are not your family. If you make those ties, those people are your family. And if you hate those ties, those people will still be your family because whatever you hate will always be with you.” - C. JoyBell C.
Lets keep growing, and lets keep moving forward. The pain is temporary, and we should use it to only excel in becoming better men and women. Much love, and God bless.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
