Ghost Busting .....it's time to work on Me

[ATPeace]

I am going arround in circles I guess I am in denial that my m is over I keep thinking all she needs to do is this or that and things can start to improve.

I want to have R conversations in the hope ther is something I can say something that I have not said but I cannot so I just have to give her space but saying nothing feels like I am giving up or have given up.

I know I cannot control her I just feel that for our family and for our children this is not what anyone deserves....she says I made her feel unhappy during our M the fact is she says she feels happier now. I want to show her she can still be this happy and have me in her life.

I love my W with all my heart she does not believe this and even if she tells me did she does not have these feelings for me.

I worry so much about how we will manage and when I say we I mean me and the children but also I worry how she will manage with the children I feel everyone will have a much lesser life ....bringing the kids up in a $hit area smaller house less money for kids hobbies.

At this point in my life I was hopping that we could all have some nice things and holidays ......my father passed away last year and left me some money and I would love to use this for the benefit of our family now I worry she will want half of it and it will get put into bills and crap pole that

It would just seem wrong if I used some of the money to take kids away but not the w we talked in the past on doing this.

So all I can do is focus on kids focus on me and keep improving making changes for me.....I have little interest in doing the things that I did in the past that made me happy I just want to be happy again as a family.

I am not religious but I pray to God and hope he can hear me


Ghost