H has started an affair 2

[mvgfwd2]

What you just described sounds like a S assault. I would suggest dealing with that before anything else. Forget his problems, he has crossed a very serious line that you can't just sweep away. It shows complete lack of respect for you as a person, a wife, and mother. Stop protecting him from his behavior it will only bring worse behavior. You need to take action to protect yourself, and your children, right away. Bring his family up to speed and get their assistance to deal with his behavior. it is far beyond an A now, this is extremely serious.