Tinydoc's first post, 5 months in.

[TDball]

Wow, it is amazing how similar our story sound, but roles a bit reversed. Your H is doing and saying the exact same things as my H, by my H was in your role with schooling. At one point my H said he would have left during his PhD but he did not want to take on another big project. Yeah, that hurt to hear.

After reading DR, I might suggest you read Hold me Tight by Sue Johnson. It talks a lot about emotional connection and how it disappears. She helped create Emotional Focused Therapy, which many marriage therapists use and which apparently has a 70-75% rate of success. Anyway, it really helped me understand emotional connection. 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman is good as well. I did not understand what my top emotional needs were. Kind of important for communicating with your S! Valuable information for your next M, regardless if it is your H or someone new.

Hang in there Doc. Your in a good spot to get support.

Thank you so much!
The fact that your H was in my role and vice versa just goes to show how little sense all of this makes! We could have easily been the ones to leave, and justify it the same way, but we didn't.

We went to one session of EFT, but he was too far along. I went to my individual session, and that's where she helped me understand about the breakdown in our emotional connection. I also read parts of Hold Me Tight and it really resonated with me,and made me hopeful, but it was very early on after he left and I remember following him around trying to read him passages. That was obviously a disaster. I cringe and laugh at the same time when thinking about it.

I know you're right about an EA or PA. I have no proof, but I agree, he would not have left so abruptly if he didn't have someone else lined up.

So, my goals. GAL is hard for me, I'm introverted at baseline.
I'm meeting with a good friend on Sunday.

I have two potential online dates lined up, but I'm hesitant to go. On one hand, I'm not sure im ready, but on the other hand I'm 34 and would like to have a family one day, and if I wait until I'm really ready...I can't wait forever.

I have a really challenging coworker, one goal is to improve communication with her and to stay calm when she attacks,

I need to start driving again. I was dependent on H whenever I needed to get somewhere by car, and it would be nice to have my independence back.

Maybe take a cooking class? H did all of the cooking.