I know it feels like the most important questions are how you should handle H right now, and in the coming months, but in the long run, how you treat him now, unless you are a complete monster, will not make a huge difference. The most important thing you can do now is worry about how you can make yourself better.
It feels like walking into the doctor because you broke your leg and him telling you to change your hairstyle, but trust these people. The best chance you have at reaching your goal of fixing your M is to work solely on yourself.
Treat him with kindness, like you would do for any friend. Do not stress about what H is doing now. You have free time to be selfish and look at you. Take it as a gift.
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
