Cali, You know the drill of stepping back and allowing her the time and space to finish up her crisis. She's still not completely baked and she's going to test the boundaries and yes, temper check periodically. Her comment about control sent a red flag up because in her mind, you are trying to control her time, what she does, etc. I know you aren't doing this, but to her your comments were interpreted as controlling.
Now, I know you this as well...but I'm going to point it out again...you both are now two different people. Your travels have taken you down different roads and you both have grown by leaps and bounds. The old wife is gone and you have to accept that when she finally leaves the crisis mode, she very well could keep some of her MLC behaviors/traits. This is something you will need to think about when the dust finally settles and the oven declares she's fully baked. You've changed too and right now, you both are tap dancing around each other because everything is new. The old marriage is gone and you both are trying to build from the foundation up. It takes time and yes, plenty of patience, frustration and disappointment.
You've stated what was on your mind, now allow her to mull it over and see how she responds. She may not respond today, tomorrow or Friday, but she will do her best to meet you half way. It all takes time. Don't rush the process!!!!
Cut yourself some slack, keep those expectations very low. She entered her crisis very slowly and she'll come out of it very slowly. Patience is the key!
