Still Struggling with a plan!

[25yearsmlc]

Dear painter


What would it mean to you if you were "gullible"? What Specifically bothers you about that?

Is it the idea of some public humiliation (which seems unlikely, given the desire for secrecy on his end) or the IDEA that he lied to you again? Why wouldn't that be HIS problem? How does it reflect poorly on YOU, to choose to trust the man you married?


Don't get me wrong, for some of us, an affair or 2nd affair, is IT. Done, no looking back, etc. It's just how some are wired.

I get that^^.


I just don't understand all the energy spent on snooping to find it (have you read MWD's books' particular section on this topic? It's very useful )


I'm trying to get you to see that once you have become your TRUE "honest to God" best self, (& protected your legal interests)--and GAL< etc

then why not drop it, and or turn it over to God (or the universe, etc) ?

Why not then let the cards fall where they will

without occupying so much of your precious life and energy,? So much of that could go to your children or work or your own self growth etc.

I regret the energy I spent on wondering what my h was doing/thinking/planning/feeling, that could and should have gone to raising and comforting my daughters who were also in pain.

I wish I had done more for them then, but my own pain preoccupied me greatly. I often was not fully present for them. That is a year I gave away to darkness.

Besides, if you get to the "I'm seriously giving & being my best, for real" place in life, then it's not about you anymore, at all.

At that point, it's all on him and all of that is out of your control.

IMO, Letting go of what we cannot control (and never ever could) is among the most freeing gifts you can give yourself in life.

Trying to outguess or maneuver around his actions is not really how you want to live, is it?

I hope this make sense.

Again, good luck.