LBH w/ a WW trying to save my M

[gs9]

Well, I'm not back in the master bedroom yet. My counselor and I decided we probably should wait for tonight to have the conversation. She had a big interview this morning and I didn't want to disrupt her sleep prior to it. Also, my step son's will be there tonight and we thought with more people around she may be less likely to blow a gasket. Unfortunately it's never stopped her in the past. So her reaction could be anywhere from quietly walking away to exploding and becoming very abusive. I do feel I've begun to detach myself enough that her verbal abuse won't have the effect on me it once had. I'm afraid that she will say things to our 4 year old in order to hurt me. I'll be sure to turn the audio recorder on my phone for any conversation.
She split our bills a couple weeks ago and she has taken the responsibility of balancing and paying all the family bills from what we determined is the family account. This has historically been my responsibility and I can see it weighing on her. I saw a NSF letter from the bank in the mail this weekend and she insisted on me writing her a check for my half of the bills and then she went to deposit it on Sunday. She also told me this morning that she is tight on money while I had a real estate closing today and I'm getting a nice raise at work on October 1st. I hope she's starting to appreciate all the things I've typically done.

Since the hug on Sunday I've seen her look at me a couple times with a look that says "will you hug me again?" But I have not. When she was about to leave this morning for her interview I told her she looked great and she was going to Wow them. I then took her hands and quickly prayed with her for interview. She thanked me and again gave me the "will you hug me look" but I didn't. I also have not asked her about her interview. It's been hard because I do love her but I feel at this time I'm supposed to be letting her go and using "let her go" techniques which should coincide with telling her tonight that I am moving back into the master bedroom and I would like her to leave. I'm trying not to be anxious about it. I've been praying about it for almost a week and I know God is a God of love and sometimes that love is a tough love and this is what He is directing me to do.