Everyones favorite couple crumbles,..WW is lost

[Rocky80]

Hello all, It is time for me to intro myself and my sitch. I’ve been following the forums for several months now along with reading the DB and DR books. It is shocking to read other peoples sitch and how similar they are to mine. It is as if there truly is a playbook or script that the WW uses.

In Jan of 2015 I had to leave for 6 months across the country for training (military). She was pleading with me to have a baby but I convinced her to wait until I get back so I could be there for the first trimester.

She did not handle the distance and separation well, she called crying, she felt lonely and was depressed about her career. She decided on 3 different new careers in the span of 90 days.

She also called me and was depressed because she felt like she was letting herself go. She is a very attractive girl and she is used to being pursued. Her ego took a hit when she went out to the same places only to find younger girls were getting the attention she used to. She got motivated, lost a couple pounds and began dressing to impress and soon found the attention she had lost. (She told me this over the phone, I was naïve to think this is just good for her self-esteem).
5 months into our long distance relationship she calls me out of the blue with the BD, ILYINILWY spiel. It came absolutely out of nowhere (4 days prior we had just ordered a new bedroom set) She said she felt I was not affectionate enough with her and was not intimate enough.

I had 1 month before I was released from training to come back, so I tried begging, pleading, showering her with gifts flowers etc.. None of this worked of course, I only pushed her further away.

I hired a marriage coach, a marriage counselor, and a therapist (for a porn addiction I had developed)
I came back home in June and immediately began to show my W through action I had changed. After about 1 week she said she likes the new me and wanted to try to work it out. We began dating again, and it felt really good, It was almost like it was in the beginning.

After 2 weeks of dating with steady progress it seemed like things were on track to be great. Then out of the blue she emailed me stating that all the dates and the hugging and kissing was too much for her to handle and she wanted some space, a trial separation. I agreed, Validated her. My marriage coach suggested there may be an OM in the picture because of her behavior. I told him no way, my W was cheated on before from a previously relationship and despised cheaters.

I snooped (something I never did before) and found out emails to OM, very intimate and flirty, like puppy love. I was crushed, devastated and I a state of shock.
I waited a few days before confronting her, where she broke down and admitted EA absolutely denied a PA (I don’t believe her). She said if she truly loved me than she would not have developed feeling for this OM.

A few weeks later she went on a trip to NY with her “friends” but I know he was there. When she returned I began LRT and applied all of Sandi’s rules.