Just wanted to post and say hello. I know how grueling a higher level education can be on your M. I am sure that it had many ramifications on your M that would have been hard to prevent. I think it takes more developed R skills that most of don't naturally have at the beginning of our M. I know my H's schooling was hard on our M. I don't think we had a strong enough foundation by the time he started to help us through. We both dealt with things in an unhealthy way. His OW (she is finishing up her PhD and is the HR manager at his office) was so kind when he started working there in January to give him a print out of how those getting PhDs have a higher D rate. I can just hear the conversation. Sickening.
Did your H ever say what his issues were? In many ways, I could have been the one to have an A and walk out on my H. For the last 10 years my emotional needs have not been met, even when I specified what I needed. But I didn't because I thought the villian was his school and that was never an option for me. My H was always gone at school or field work. When he was home, we didn't focus on us. It was always what project needed to be done op around the house. Building a deck or other large manual labor job does not necessarily bring out the best in you when you are already starting to disconnect.
Also, I can see if your H was underemployed and having a W getting her medical degree might cause him to question his worth if he was already insecure in some way. Obviously, there is something going on underneath it all for him to deal with things the way he did. Just curious if he has given you anything to work with as far as changes you need to work on for you.
I have read a few success stories on here with the LBS filed but they still R. Starsky is one that comes to mind.
Me: 42 H: 40 M: 12 H moved out - 8/2015 I filed - 8/2015
