So my wife today sent me a text saying I have successfully made it that she wants nothing to do with me at all. So I guess I made the mistake and called her and asked her what is up. She said she is angry, angry about the past and what happened. And is still angry because she said she is bleeding money. Well we both are. And then she went into everything being my fault. That we are here because of what I did. I agree with her. It is my fault. But when can she stop being angry with me. About things that happened months ago. I guess I didn't do too good a job of listening to her about being angry. My rebuttle was I can't do anything about the past. That we went to counseling to fix my issues. How long is she going to stay angry with me. And anytime we talk it is the same thing. It is my fault we are getting divorced. It is my fault that I put us in a position of this. But it is not my fault for filing for divorce. Because I didn't. She did. The repercussions of my actions are her wanting out. The repercussions of the divorce are us being broke and where we are now. Her being angry. I didn't want this. I have been willing to do anything.
I came across a youtube of Michelle Weiner that described how I got myself in the situation I am in perfectly. She was talking about a wife telling her husband what was wrong with their marriage..things he should stop doing..or start doing for that matter..finally the wife quit telling him..so the husband thought everything was now ok with their marriage. Until one day she tells him she is leaving and filing for divorce. He is stunned..he try's everything to save his marriage..buys self help books..marriage books..everything he can. Michelle explains that he didn't listen to his wife's words..but it took the action of her leaving to get his attention. That's happened to me..I didn't listen..after being told over and over again..it took the action of her wanting to divorce..to really get my attention..but it now seems too late.
Of course in the process of me going dark..I wanted to share this video with her..and sent it to her.. Her response..Please stop texting me. And she has now blocked me on her facebook also. So I guess I have been helped into detaching from her I guess.
So as I last posted. Wife asked me to stop texting. Which I have for the last 2 weeks almost. Only communication is basically thru lawyers. Or has been very business like text from her regarding bills. She has a car that was giving to me 2 years ago and has been driving it since we started dating. In her proposal she wanted the car, even though I had it coming into our 2 year marriage. I mean she took everything that she brought into the marriage with her. I let my attorney know that I would like my car back as it will be long time before I can afford to buy another car. She came back and agreed, but we have other debt we are not agreeing on. Last time I talked to her, she was angry about, a lot of things. Having to get a car was among other things. So last week I sent her an email saying that if she hasn't already put money down for a new car that to let me know if she wanted to keep the car. I mean, I love her and want to make things less stressful for her. Even though she makes more than twice what I make and would be easier for her to buy a car and help with our debt. So she has been out of contact, in the mountains for more than a week, since I sent the email. If I don't hear from her when she gets back. Should I send a text or call her to let her know my offer. Time is of the essence since she is probably car shopping if not already getting one. So would this break my going dark?
im going through the same thing youre going through. Although i havent heard anything about divorce, I know it's coming soon. My wife send me a text 8 days ago that she had left the house. She said she couldnt live like this and didnt know where this was going. Just like you mentioned about your wife always blaming you for everything and putting both of you in this situation , thats the same thing my wife told me. She doesnt answer my txt and when she does is either yes or no. The bad thing here is that she wont tell me where she is at. She has both of my daughters one is 3yrs the other 8months. She is hitting me low blow. Just like you are frustrated with going dark and having no contact with her and risking that she may forget about you in this stage , i am also thinking that . What if i keep ignoring her and show her i moved on , she will too?? But i dont want that . I want her back. It gets frustrating , hope you get through this !
I filed for divorce myself today. I need to see my kids. I found out they were staying in a women shelter (UNBELIEVABLE). No abuse or anything at the house. If anything she would mentally abuse me, telling me i wasnt worth it, i dont do anything for them even if i work everyday, it was only because she had to tell me to get a second job, not to take credit for it. I am in shock.
So doing good not contacting the wife. Of course as the no contact continues my mind wonders, wonders what she is thinking. We are set to have a settlement conference in a month about the divorce. So between now and then do I wait for her to contact me or what? I mean if I keep waiting next thing I know we will be divorced. Do I try and contact her before the conference?
So between now and then do I wait for her to contact me or what? I mean if I keep waiting next thing I know we will be divorced. Do I try and contact her before the conference?
What exactly do you want to say that you havent already said?
