A new thread for Eye-Tie

[EyeTie]

Thank you JulieH.

It wasn't all butterflies and rainbows to get me to this point. It took a lot of work to get me here. Plenty of nights were spent crying, praying and dreaming of a life with her again. But the longer this went on, the more lies that were exposed, the more I gal'd, the more I realized that I was ready to move forward. There is a line from a movie called The Crow. "It can't rain all the time" and that is what we all have to realize. That the pain does fade, that the clouds lift and the sun can shine again. It just takes time, it takes patience and it takes a lot of reflecting to get there.

When my WW and I first started dating, we were making crap for money. Neither of us really were doing anything that would be a career, we struggled. Soon though she went back to school (I followed) and she found a new career path where she soon was making just over 6 figures. When she got to that point, her attitude changed. She treated our friends like crap. She treated everyone like they were beneath her. She even yelled at a cashier at Trader Joe's and called them the "help" when the cashier wouldn't let my WW have her way. I always was behind her, apologizing to everyone for her pissy attitude. Be it to our friends, my family, her family or even my childrens nanny. She no longer has that, since we split up she lost that job and had a very hard time finding another. She now makes substantially less than she did 6 months ago. Several of "our" friends want nothing to do with her, due to her attitude and the way she treats people. I realized that by me making excuses, I was enabling her behavior, I no longer am there to play clean up. And I think that she is having a hard time being accountable for her actions.

I don't want to be with someone like that.

This last weekend I took the newer GF out of town and she met some friends of mine who are older (their son is a good friend, they are like second parents to me, they have known me for 20+ years and met every girl I have ever dated). Their review on the new girl was outstanding, that she was sweet, charming, kind, etc. That they liked her more than any other girl I had ever dated and said that for the first time in a long time I was happy.

That really hit me hard. I didn't realize how unhappy I was with my ex over the last few years. She claims she was miserable, but I think I was worse. I spent the majority of my days trying to walk on ice with her, where the smallest issue would turn into a huge fight. If I didn't cook what she wanted for dinner, do the laundry, etc, she would blow up and storm around the house screaming. I lived like that for 3-4 years, just doing whatever it took to make her happy. I think that was my problem when she left because I did so much for her and sadly I still do. But those days are over, she knows it and is now in "desperation mode". She finally realizes that it's no longer her call to get back together, that I do not want her back or the "newer" her back.

If I can do it so can you. Be strong, know that there is happiness out there, you just have to work to get it. It can't rain all the time...