Lonely Hearts Club

[Avanti]

...I said to my w a few weeks ago I MISS US NOT BEING TOGETHER her words back to be ......see I don't ......THAT HURT !...

Did she mean you'd hurt her or she felt the same hurt as you? Are you sure of the answer, did you ask her for clarification, is there a chance you misinterpreted her?

I am not picking at you Ghost56, I don't know your sitch, it was just my reaction when I read your post and felt compelled to post.

[shotgun]

Hello Ghost. I do find it fascinating how similar all of our situations are. I posted somewhere how I felt that this behavior must have a physiological/evolutionary basis as it is so common in middle age. I am however trying to stop trying to find logic in her actions and keep the focus on me and the person who I will become at the end of this quagmire.

[shotgun]

Well toinght I went to the parenting class that is required by the state for divorcing parents. STBXW was there as well. I had hoped that she was scheduled for another night. Was lucky enough to sit all the way across the room from her. It was all very emotional and several people were in tears.

The severe depression of the last two weeks seems to be lifting. Hopefully it was just part of being on the medication. My therapist says that Prozac is a year long commitment. Ugh everything takes so long these days. Why am I no longer patient?

Trying to be as brave as Rouky I took myself to dinner tonight after class. Didn't really talk to anyone and it wasn't all that great being there by myself. I do however need to pick myself up and get busy living. I hate the loneliness and long for intelligent conversation.

God Bless all who read this and hope to hear from you!

[Rouky]

If you want you can pop round and have a chat with my dog as it's the only conversation I have at home :-)

So proud of you to go out for a meal because a) you still did it and b) it was out of your comfort zone ( explaining why it didn't feel great!). The more you do it, the easier it will feel for you. Believe me if I can't go out once a week, I feel lost!

For the D, prepare yourself as best as you can financially and emotionally as this is only what you can do (the rest is out of your control!). Let your wife do what she has to do, just go with the flow. I know easier said than done :-)

Prozac is a long treatment but if it helps with your depression that is all good news. I know they have this happy pill effect but try to train your mind to see positive while on it! That's what I did and now I see life in a better light (with few relapses at time) but I don't regret taking them as they helped me!

Glad to hear you had a good time with S. At the moment he is your sunshine in your life, and think about the good times you had together if you feel sad.

Sending you loads of positive vibes :-)

[ATPeace]

Hi shotgun

avanti the point I was making was when I said to my wife I miss us ...meaning us being together she said ...well I actually don't .....now I know they say they will speak absolute negatives but even so still hurts to hear her say she does not miss us being together

[Avanti]

WAS's and WS's do speak in absolute negatives and you should not believe 100% of what they say and only 50% of what they do and that 50% is anything positive, which given how far you are in your sitch you probably aren't going to see for a while.

Do you want your W to have control over you? If the answer is no, she is saying such things to manipulate you, so let it go and when she sees you aren't being effected anymore by her saying them, she'll stop; plus she might get inquisitive, but don't bank on it there is only an outside chance. Is that tough to do? Yes. Is it easy on you? No. Should you do it? Yes.

[shotgun]

Ghost56 my W did the same to me as far as all of the negative comments and put downs but I believe it was all about her trying to control what I asked for in the divorce. She was attempting to keep me submissive and happy to settle for little of nothing in hopes of getting her back someday. It is so hard to do as Avanti says and disregard most of what they say.

Rouky I would drive your dog nuts with all the crap that I have to tell it. He would need Prozac at the end of the conversation :-) I'm going to take your advice and spend the day looking for the positive in my life and try to start digging my way out of this depression that I feel.

[shotgun]

Better day today. Very busy at work. Hanging with family this weekend. Have S13 tonight and that always makes for a better day! I will never get used to seeing him only half of the time. The instructor at the parenting class made a big issue of pointing out the severity of the change in parenting time. While I have it as good as any father in that I have him half of the time I still long for more time.

Will have to miss his concert because of work. I'm a little pouty about that. I have been to everything he has ever performed in except this one and the one the night of the parenting class. There will be many more so I must focus on the long term and the big picture.

I am very lonely and miss the conversation and the physical contact of my wife. I am for sure the marrying kind. Have to be patient though as I am in too much emotional pain and the uncertainty of the divorce to date anyone. It would be nice to have someone to talk to though.

Hope everyone is finding peace and knows that this too shall pass. We are all tied together by our situations and I hope that all of this has a purpose. God Bless you all!

[Rouky]

That's good you are having your son today. I can only but sympathise with how hard it must be to be away from him. Unfortunately we have been put in this situation, and we must do our best to go through it.

I hope you'll have a good time with your family. I do miss mine very much. Keeping looking for anything positive in your day.

You'll get through this :-)

[Rouky]

Hi, checking how you are :-). What have you done lately?