I am so sorry to read your news today. Sorting out where you stand financially is a good thing, it will allow you to plan for the future.
I so understand it is a disappointing turn of events, it sounds like you are 'sitting on the fence" and you know that no matter what you will be ok. I get that while h did not pursue the d there is always that glimmer of hope; to a degree a d means nothing more than dissolving a m that is already gone, it does not necessarily mean the end - it is the end when you choose it to be.
You have the power to decide what is best for you and what you want to do with your life. Moving forwards is the only option in my book (!!), our lives belong to us and we are responsible for making them as full and meaningful as possible, so don't let the grass grow under your feet, dance until they ache :o)
