Moving Through it 11

[asitis]

Sorry it was a tough one, but I like that you noticed the good things as well as the difficult things. Remember that W is likely playing to a couple audiences. You and the friends. She's trying to get to you & show the friends that she's OK & the fun one they should hang around with. That's very stressful & tiring, as well as immature. You kept your eye on the prize, which is your kids.

Mutual friends can be a real mixed bag. Most feel caught in the middle, and many are very scared of the tension and that they might catch the divorcies. To avoid that they often chose one person and try to normalize that relationship to avoid dealing with their anxiety and fear. Hard to bear, but you do find out who the really good friends are: not the ones that choose you, but the ones who choose both and have the maturity and compassion to hang in there. Another mixed blessing in all this.

On the dating, don't worry about figuring out which it is. Just go out and have fun. Be open and honest with yourself and the other person. If they can't handle it or you can't handle it, it really doesn't matter the reason why. It is just where both people are at this point in their lives. Try to enjoy the time out with other people. A bit of wariness, mixed with ability to just enjoy the time is not a bad thing at any time when getting to know another.