Where to begin?

[Dawgs]

I just don't see how some of you do it. I am going through such turmoil that I just can't see straight, much less keep a happy face. I try very hard to detach, but dang it is tough. I guess her living in the house until she goes to her new base isn't really helping, either. I range from anger to sadness to everything in between.

I mean, for the past 6 - 7 months, she won't let me kiss her (except on the cheek) or do any of the like. It's like the faucet completely shut off. I keep thinking about how our life was and for the life of me I can't see any valid reason for divorce. I know that she has deep emotional issues

I am just so torn I really don't know what to do. I want to save this marriage so bad that its all I can think about. In fact, our marriage is pretty much all I do think about. I think about all of the great times we had and all of the future plans we talked about - or when something from our favorite vacation spot comes in the mail, and when I do this overwhelming sadness comes back. I think I had my first panic attack the other day. Guys, I just don't know what to do.

It also angers me to no end as to how she talked of going to the show (mentioned in the above post) on her birthday with her sister instead of spending the time with the kids. The kids have been wanting to go to one of our favorite places so I said we should go soon (will leave name out just in case...) and she basically shot it down, but wants to go to her sisters for the show on her birthday??? I want to think that she loves the kids as much as she says she does, but c'mon. I remember her saying when we were dating and all about how she always said that she would never get married and definitely not have kids.

I am just so lost and all of this hurts so very bad.