I would find a time to communicate to him that w/o affection, you feel used when you ML. So without affection, it is no longer going to work for you to ML because you need him to come along with working on the marriage. It cannot just be you fulfilling his needs & him not fulfilling yours.

Maybe find a new counselor if they cannot help you with this bit. Seems an important part to be able to figure out.

T: 14 M: 12
D: 9 S: 6
BD: 2/18/15 (H affair)
Working on marriage: 3/12/15-6/11/15
Broken Trust (my error): 6/11/15
H ring off: 7/6/15; Comm w/ OW confirmed 7/13/15
H wants to work on fixing things: 7/21/15