Thank you, Vanilla. I know I should and will make an appointment soon. As I have said before, she has mentioned doing an uncontested divorce. I really do not think she wants to go to court over anything. Maybe its just my mindset. I am just having such a hard time over all of this. Yes, I am trying to so hard to be that lighthouse and keep calm, but at the same time on the inside I am just going crazy. I have tried detaching and distancing myself, but I just have such a hard time. Everytime I act in that manner, she always asks whats wrong.
As of now, our relationship is on break and we are just working on "getting comfortable with each other and our friendship." To my overactive mind, that seems to be telling me that in her own way she is trying to prepare me for the divorce.
An interesting, but maybe meaningless, conversation came up this weekend. She had mentioned that her sister wants her to come visit again soon on her birthday so they can go to a show. I told her that the SIL (the one going through the D) sure is living it up now and is doing all this "going out" now that she is D to which the W really didn't say anything. And now, it seems like the wife is starting to want to do the same with her. Remember, I told you that these two were very, very tight due to their childhood. The W mentioned going up to see her and asked if it was ok - I almost told her this: "If it were me on my birthday, I would want to spend it with my children. Especially seeing as to how I would be leaving in less than two months to go to my new base." Maybe I should have. Thoughts? I guess her priorities are out of line. I mean, she claims to love them so much but would rather do that instead of spending that time with them?
The W continues to live in the house but sleeps on the couch. The kids are asking all kinds of questions as to why. I have never told the W what they ask because I don't want her to have one of her attacks. Maybe I should? Maybe she should see the truth or should I just let it be?
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
