The book of Lou - Chapter 4

[123Gwen]

Hi there my friend,

I am sorry your H was not more sensitive to your anniversary. I can certainly understand your sadness and mixed feelings.

Everything you've posted - all those thoughts and questions about reconciliation are truly legislate. I always considered myself such a positive person but it seems like MLC has put boulders in your path and the road is so long.

I guess that's why the dbusting books promote detachment and zero expectations so forcefully. The only way you have a chance to rebuild is to start from a place of not caring either way. It is ironic but you have to be deprogrammed from your old marriage to have a prayer of beginning a new one.

I guess that is why GAL takes center stage. I see it all for what it is in the case of MLC - save yourself and then deal with your spouse if they ever deal with themselves.

This is a long process my friend. This is going to sound cruel but try not to care. I know it flies in the face of all that you are but your H is not stable enough right now. I don't think he is being intentionally cruel but I do think he finds comfort in knowing you are waiting in the wings.

Your H's willingness to have these tough talks and his work with a therapist are wonderful. He seems to truly want purposeful change in his life and to preserve his relationship with his family. These are monumental steps but it may take quite a while before you know exactly how this will play out in terms of your marriage.

Lou you are my heroine. You are the kind of woman who grabs that silver lining in any situation. Be true to that and true to yourself right now. It's okay to delve into these questions about the future as long as they don't stop you from being fully present in this moment in your life. You deserve to take center stage right now!