First the great stuff. Vacation with S12 and D9 was amazing. Went to Florida, went fishing in the open water, to the beach, and tried a bunch of new foods. My friend in Palmetto put us up and he couldn't have been a better host. We saw manatees in the wild!
Guys vacation (my brother and a friend from work) was the best ever. We climbed 4 14ers - Elbert, Democrat, Cameron, and Lincoln. Jeeped up two trails that you wouldn't believe a 4WD can climb. Saw deer, woodchucks and mountain goats in the wild. Played poker in a 130 year old saloon in Leadville. Caught trout. Just the best week I could hope for. It took me two days to truly relax and enjoy it, but once I did, it was incredible.
So, where am I in the divorce process - now almost a year removed? Well, I must say, I haven't reviewed DB'g in a while - have lurked about checking on some of you. Personally, I am pretty close to over it. Seeing my XW still evokes an emotional response, but I don't dwell on it. She can get very demanding at times and I just break contact until a few days pass or she settles down. She moved the kids again, and her new address is a pain in the behind; it's within our agreement but very much on the outskirts. It is much more difficult for me to get my time with my children - and the extra time I enjoyed is pretty much gone. Furthermore, the pickup/dropoff arrangements in the papers were not what I agreed to verbally, and I am on the hook for damn near all of it. Oh, well. At least it looks like she will be in this location a while. And my S12 has started middle school there and likes it. D9 is still homeschooling. XW seems to be working less now that she has remarried. Heh. No shock there.
That's the "fact" stuff. Here's some other nuggets for you to chew on:
1) Give your X a special ring tone and text notification. As soon as I did that, I stopped cringing and elevating my anxiety level every time the phone made a sound. Most of the people who contact me like me! 2) Umm...this one is funny/sad. So, I thought I had bedbugs or fleas or something. Nope. Stress induced hives. I haven't consulted a professional yet, but the literature out there is pretty straightforward. Reduce your stress. ANY WAY YOU CAN. So, if your skin or whatever is acting up, you are not alone. 3) Go ahead and go on a date. I did. I'm good for another 6 months. Not ready. At least she was sweet. 4) Developing a new network of single friends can be a blast - but you better expect the weird. I have a high tolerance for different points of view. But throw a group of divorced 35+ people together and it's the most twisted version of junior high you ever saw. 5) Put things on the calendar. My summer was amazing because I did this. But now I'm without a future project. And I have problems as a result...so... 5b) I'm going to do a Spartan Race (Sprint) in March. I need this. My head and heart still hurt. I feel the failure of my marriage still, and I need to be reminded by objective accomplishments that this loss will not define me or my future.
That's enough. Time to go check in on my buddies!
Shakspr
Me: 43 XW: 43 T15 M14 D21, SS15, S11, D8 BD: 8/6 EA / possible PA discovered 9/29 D final 10/20
