So what are u saying A? Get divorced? Or just plain old "get on with your life!!!"
I'm saying that the act of divorce only changes the way you do your taxes. You're still going to be hanging on the same ledge with or without the legal status change.
I don't want a D. The D word hasn't even been mentioned by H. I thought this was DBusters?!?!?
I think you are misunderstanding me. My point was that the legal act of going through the divorce doesn't really mean much. So if you don't want it, don't push for it. But there's nothing to fear in it. It's just a legal document.
Your life is yours. Don't cling to a ledge! Let go and live!
Thanks Dday - that is it. Moving forward not moving on! I love my H very much I do hope he comes out of fog and can see clerly again. OW is reinforcing with H that they are doing "nothing wrong" by having A and its not his fault if i am "not moving on"
Jpeg, I told H I won't lift one finger to help him D me. I also told him we were brought together by God, and I haven't felt Him tell me it was ok to break my vow. So, if he gets his piece of paper, it changes nothing. I'm still married. There is peace to be found in realizing it's just a legal action.
However, as long as H is involved with OW, he is not married in his mind. There is little you can do except release him- let his actions be his. You focus on the things that are good for you.
I am completely aware of the heartache involved in this entire situation. I never knew it was possible to be hurting so very much, and still carry on. It helps that I view H as an extremely broken person. That brings out compassion, which leads to forgiveness. I'm not completely at the forgiveness stage...but I am able to be compassionate. That helps, too.
Making plans for my life has been so empowering. I'm choosing to heal. I will deal with him later, when I am equipped to do so. Right now, it's just too much. So, dropping the rope that holds me to him, and doing my own thing for now.
I hope this helps some. It has made all the difference in the world for me.
Temporary spousal support. I'll let you know more after I see L on Tuesday. There's some other kind of agreement you can set up, too, that isn't the same as divorce. If he pursues D, I will answer through attorney, but will not initiate.
Need some advice - I am sooooooo conflicted. My family is pushing me to get legal separation H family believes he will come back they have always been about just giving him time and praying. OW has been confirmed and he is planning on moving in with her. Most of the kids will no longer speak to him
