Jpeg, I told H I won't lift one finger to help him D me. I also told him we were brought together by God, and I haven't felt Him tell me it was ok to break my vow. So, if he gets his piece of paper, it changes nothing. I'm still married. There is peace to be found in realizing it's just a legal action.
However, as long as H is involved with OW, he is not married in his mind. There is little you can do except release him- let his actions be his. You focus on the things that are good for you.
I am completely aware of the heartache involved in this entire situation. I never knew it was possible to be hurting so very much, and still carry on. It helps that I view H as an extremely broken person. That brings out compassion, which leads to forgiveness. I'm not completely at the forgiveness stage...but I am able to be compassionate. That helps, too.
Making plans for my life has been so empowering. I'm choosing to heal. I will deal with him later, when I am equipped to do so. Right now, it's just too much. So, dropping the rope that holds me to him, and doing my own thing for now.
I hope this helps some. It has made all the difference in the world for me.
