Regarding the cost-sharing, you guys are not making it any easier! I had pretty much decided to share evenly with her, if only to avoid poisoning the relationship over a few hundred dollars. Part of me wants to ask her: "Why exactly am I paying for this D that I didn't want?" if only to make her think about it
Mozza, thanks for the update. As far as cost-sharing, if it makes you feel any better at all, I probably would have let it go if we were talking a few hundred dollars. You are correct that money is not worth ruining your co-parenting relationship over. In my case, "my half" of the legal fees would have been a really significant portion of my yearly income, STBX makes multiples of what I do, and, most importantly, he agreed to pay it.
