I believe there is a difference in the W who has a wayward heart, and the W who leaves b/c of other reasons. Does it matter what kind of approach to use? Well, MWD says to do what works. Trying to persuade a WW back into the M by doing everything she wants, doesn't work. Clinging to her, being needing, spending more time with her, giving her all your attention, etc., doesn't work. Taking all the blame for the MR breakdown, doesn't work. Cattering to her, doesn't work. Being the housekeeper, cook, and day care employee, doesn't work. So, if that's a man's idea of DBing........it won't work on a wayward. Not cowarding to her......works. Enforcing firm boundaries......work. Detaching........works. Gal often.........works. Not giving her the entitled princess treatment........works. Most of all, dropping the rope.......WORKS. from Sandi.
Ok, my W has told me she lost her respect for me. Definately rebellious, acts like a teenager and makes no sense when she talks... sometimes even about the boys. Resentment. Yeah, she says she can't trust my changes and won't believe that I won't "hurt" her again.
I HAVE to do this. For my self respect as well as to have a chance to get her back. Time to put it in action.
Patience. And time. Patience. And time.
This is why doing and saying nothing are often the best choice.
