I'm on the other side of this, having lived in a D family for 15 years, and worked with hundreds of divorced families in the same situation.
Painter, what kind of work do you do with D families? Is that your profession or a volunteer calling? I'm sure it's both frustrating and rewarding at the same time. I don't want to hijack Zues's thread, is there a link to another post where you've explained already? Or you can go post on my thread if you prefer. I'd love to hear.